You were never a first pick or leader of a pack, you were always the one picked last or not at all. Eddie and Gelberg were the leaders and you always wished you could be like them. You pleaded and pleaded to them to be able to play in the game of punch ball, but were always turned down. The curb was about to become your home for the rest of the game until you saw the new kid. You asked him to play the game with him so they could have even numbers on both teams. He hesitantly accepted the offer and you finally got to play. You got to play left outside on Gelberg's team. The game had begun and the ball was hit right in your direction, this was your moment to prove to everyone you were just as good as them. The ball comes hurdling down towards you and you drop it. The ball rolls out of your glove, nice going. You also end up throwing it to the wrong base too, which makes matters even worse. Everyone is yelling at you and calling you names. You are even more mortified. The new kid is next and when the ball comes to him he crumbles to the ground. You start screaming that he is scared of the ball. The new kid begins to protest that he was not scared of the ball and that the sun was in his eyes. The new kid then called Marty a yellowbelly and that is when all chaos let loose. People started fighting the new kid and that is when you stepped in and started punching and swinging crazily at the new kid. The new kid soon ran away and you stood there and realized you had just graduated from the runt status. You were so excited to be able to prank, beat up, and tease the new kid just like everyone else had teased you. You were unstoppable.
I know understand what I did was completely wrong. I was the weakest of the pack and when someone weaker than I joined I treated them like the others treated me. I was beaten up, called names, and hated. I did exactly what happened to me to someone else because it made me feel better. It made me feel powerful to control something rather than having no control and getting picked on. I feel absolutely terrible about what I had done. I was corrupted by the power given to me and it overtook my true personality. I was bullied and was the bully. I knew exactly how the new kid felt because I was in his shoes. I did not stop what was happening to him because I liked it, I liked not being the victim.
If my son were ever in a situation like this I would give him the advice to befriend the new kid instead of turning his back on him like I did. I would tell him to be friends with a person who is not Eddie or Gelberg because they are the real bullies. Together the two could stand together and defend themselves. Having numbers in this situation is good. The two boys would understand each other because they are both not very good at sports and such. You would not only solve your problem of being bullied, but you would gain a true friend.
You future self,
Marty
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